(click here to visit the Love and Logic Website)
“DID YOU DO DRUGS?”
“Hey, Dad. Did you and Mom do drugs when you were young?”
Look out, parents! This is not a simple childhood question. This is a kid looking for some leverage and a way to get some tacit approval for drug use. This is a kid looking for the opportunity to say, “Well you did it too.”
(or even if it is just a kid question use it as a learning time)
If you didn’t use drugs it is a great chance to explain why you didn’t.
If you did, you might want to consider this reply. “Yes, I was very foolish and tried some drugs. But I was lucky to have people who showed me what they were doing to me. I saw my friends having horrible problems. Their grades went down. Their family lives were in shambles, and two of them died of overdoses. Then one day I realized that I wanted a family some day, and I thought how humiliated I would be to have to honestly talk about how foolish I was. So that’s why I quit and why I hope you never have to be as humiliated as I am when your own kids ask this question.”
Best Wishes
Jim Fay
www.loveandlogic.com/
Thoughts and Ideas:
Remember this type of approach can also be used with other “did you ever questions around tough topics (lying, stealing, bullying, sexual experiences…)
Take time to pre-think what the truth is about why you wish you never…so you are ready to answer with wisdom AND your message why it is not okay to… This will increase the chances that you will be heard. Telling your kids to just say “no” or expecting one conversation will help them to resist is not enough in today’s world.
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Last updated April 23, 2006.